Gherkins and pregnancy often go from hand to mouth.
If you manage to reach them, of course …
It was a dark Saturday morning. A wife, a pregnant wife, wanted a mango. Fortunately, we bought it yesterday and kept it close. The mango was less fortunate because it was already in the late stages of his life and it became quite tasteless – rotten. My wife discarded it along with other rotten friends.
Maybe you’re wondering what do mango and gherkins have in common? Nothing. But my wife wanted gherkins instead of a mango. A completely logical replacement.
The door of the fridge open, then the unpleasant silence follows. Possible and non-existent causes are as follows:
- maybe my wife’s water broke … a bit too early, I think;
- she’s examining the content of the fridge and looking for gherkins;
- she found something better in the fridge and she’s thinking what to chose;
- maybe a cat crawled into the fridge last night and she’s looking at him wondering if he’s going to even move after a cold night;
- gherkins were stolen, kidnapped, they’re gone!
After a few seconds of silence, the mystery was solved. We ran out of gherkins! This happened today when outside is annoying, cold weather and probably I must be the one, a hunter, who’ll go out in the cold to get some food for my wife and child.
Maybe my wife will need something else as well, so I took her with me. By doing so I also reduced the risk of buying the wrong gherkins. There are a lot of different types of gherkins from only one producer. So options for errors are huge!
We come home. Mission »gherkins« is almost complete, we only have to open them. Usually this is not so difficult. This time the jar didn’t open and while trying to open it two pieces of glass almost hit an innocent animal.
I’m thinking about the hammer when finally lid gives in and the gherkins are ready for death.
After a few hours wife opens the fridge again. I hope she doesn’t want a mango.